


Fool For Love

by CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)



Series: A Fool For Love [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Conversion, F/M, Feral Dean Winchester, Kidnapping, Reader-Insert, a/b/o dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23465566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil
Summary: When the Winchesters discover that Y/n is alive and thriving in Seattle, they approach that knowledge in two very different ways.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~He leaned his head back against the back wall and rested his hands on the railing. His hands had taken to shaking in the days approaching his rut, a tremor he’d been fighting for two years.“Dean, you need a date,” Sam said, looking from Dean’s fingers curling around the railing to the numbers changing on the elevator panel.“I’m fine,” Dean responded.“Your tremor is getting worse.”“We got more important shit to worry about.”Sam continued to look at the numbers. “You’re almost forty, Dean.”“And I had an omega, Sam. We lost her. This is...this is something else. This isn’t...Dad was eventually fine after Mom died-”“Debatable.”“This is just…” Dean lifted his left hand in front of his face and watched it shake. A ding echoed through the car and the doors slid open. He smoothed out his suit jacket and smiled tightly at Sam as he walked out onto the floor they landed on. “Maybe it’s psychosomatic, huh?” he finished bitterly.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/You, Original Male Character/You, Sam Winchester/You
Series: A Fool For Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1128137
Comments: 53
Kudos: 146





	1. Four Star

**Author’s Note** : Get ready for some heavy angst and some angry alpha Dean acting an ass.

**Summary** : Set during Season 13. Sam and Dean find out Y/n is still alive.

**Pairing** : Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader (past), Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader (past)

**Story Warnings:** canon-appropriate violence, A/B/O dynamics, angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_**January 12, 2016** _

Sam felt it the same moment Dean did. It was like his heart was ripped out of his chest.

Dean pulled the Impala over on the shoulder of the highway, something that felt like a panic attack taking over his chest. He was shaking as he pulled out his phone. He instinctively dialed Y/n's number but she didn't answer. "Call her!" Dean demanded of his little brother, but Sam was already trying...and failing.

"I don't think she even took her phone when she left, Dean."

The older brother grit his teeth and fisted his hand in his shirt over his heart. "It's what Dad felt when Mom died, Sam. It's like my heart is dying in my chest."

"I know," Sam snapped.

"What if she's dead?" Dean asked, tears rolling his cheeks, pained breaths rocking him.

"Then you should have cared before she left...when you could have saved her!" Sam growled before wrenching open the door and stomping away from the Impala. He fell to his knees a hundred feet out. The pain in his heart was just as bad as losing Jess, like a literal replay of the pain. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry.”

“You were supposed to be enough!” Dean yelled, slamming the door and stomping toward where Sam was.

“What?!” Sam snapped, looking over at his brother.

“Half the reason I agreed to share her with you-”

“It was _your_ idea!” Sam interrupted, standing.

“Because you were supposed to take care of her! You were supposed to be enough!”

Sam’s fist collided with Dean’s cheek as soon as his brother was in range. “This was _your_ fault! If you had just-” He tackled Dean to the grass and smashed his fist into his face again. “-given her some fucking attention! If you had pulled your head out of your ass for one night! _One night_ , Dean! She was dying and you couldn’t give her one fucking night!”

Dean grabbed Sam’s shoulders and rolled them so that he was on top of Sam with his knee in his chest. “She shouldn’t have been dying!” He wiped at the blood under his nose. “She should have been getting what she needs from you. That’s why you--that’s why you marked her. That’s why I set this up!”

“Obviously, it didn’t work,” Sam seethed. “I _wasn’t_ enough and I _told_ you! I told you it wasn’t in her fucking head. It wasn’t psychosomatic, but you didn’t believe me. You didn’t believe her!”

Dean squeezed his eyes closed and tried to fight the tears in his eyes at the feeling in his heart. “You’re right. It’s my fault. She’s dead and it’s my fault.” He got up and stumbled to the Impala. “It’s my fault.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_March 2, 2018_ **

_Seattle, Washington, Patricia Hotel_

As soon as he walked into the lobby, a scent assaulted him. It was dull, but there was pie. Somewhere in the hotel was a fresh-baked pie. “Man, I’m hungry.” Sam looked over at him, irritation on his face. “What?”

“You’re always hungry...and it’s taking its toll on your belly, dude. You’re not a young man anymore.”

“Shut up, Sam,” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

“No, seriously, Dean. You’re almost forty.”

“ _You’re_ almost forty,” he snapped back, sniffing at the air.

Sam rolled his eyes at the crappy comeback and sniffed the air, too. “Smells kinda like a library in here.”

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“It just kinda smells like books. Old ones.” Sam looked around but didn’t see anything that would give off that scent.

“Yeah, okay,” Dean said, disbelieving as they got on the elevator. He leaned his head back against the back wall and rested his hands on the railing. His hands had taken to shaking in the days approaching his rut, a tremor he’d been fighting for two years.

“Dean, you need a date,” Sam said, looking from Dean’s fingers curling around the railing to the numbers changing on the elevator panel.

“I’m fine,” Dean responded.

“Your tremor is getting worse.”

“We got more important shit to worry about.”

Sam continued to look at the numbers. “You’re almost forty, Dean.”

“And I _had_ an omega, Sam. We lost her. This is...this is something else. This isn’t...Dad was eventually fine after Mom died-”

“Debatable.”

“This is just…” Dean lifted his left hand in front of his face and watched it shake. A ding echoed through the car and the doors slid open. He smoothed out his suit jacket and smiled tightly at Sam as he walked out onto the floor they landed on. “Maybe it’s psychosomatic, huh?” he finished bitterly.

Sam sighed and followed Dean off of the elevator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why are we here again?” Sam asked as they walked into the Patricia Hotel for the third time. “We got the skull back where it belongs, got the blood from Father Lucca. Why don’t we go back to the bunker?”

Dean licked his lips. Last time they were at the hotel, he smelled a vague scent of leather and bourbon. He couldn’t explain that his brain took those smells and made him think of Y/n, that he just wanted to smell them again. He was probably losing his mind...so he couldn’t explain it. “You’ve got a concussion to sleep off and I stole a key when I hit those fire alarms so we’re gonna hang out for the night.”

“I don’t have a concussion,” Sam argued.

“It’s a four-star hotel and we’re stayin’ the night so it doesn’t matter whether you think you’ve got a concussion,” Dean replied, pulling out a key from his pocket. “And I’m gonna hit the hotel bar while you sleep it off.”

He handed the key to Sam, who rolled his eyes and walked over to the elevator as Dean headed for the bar. A voice stopped him in his tracks.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t get you tickets to that concert this close to the show, ma’am. ‘Sold out’ means it’s sold out...even for your lovely concierge.”

Dean’s heart started pounding in his ears, drowning out the sound of the other woman arguing. He felt like he was moving through mud as he slowly turned to look at the concierge desk, his hands shaking. He thought he was hallucinating for a moment. There she was, behind the desk, a smile on her face despite the well-dressed woman pointing at her aggressively. There was a pen behind her ear and a purple scarf around her neck. Her name tag said ‘Aubrielle’ but it was Y/n. It was definitely his omega. So why couldn’t he smell her more than a slight perfume? And where the hell had she been?

He sat in a chair in the lounge and stared at her. She was alive. How was she alive?

“I’ll get you in at Canlis for tomorrow night, Mrs. Stuyvesant. They always keep a reservation open for me. Have a nice night!” Y/n chirped. As soon as the rich old walked away, Y/n rolled her eyes and picked up the phone on the desk. “Hey. So, I know I promised Canlis tomorrow but I had to give our reservations to this old bag at the hotel. Well, _I_ could cook. Okay, if you really wanna go out for our anniversary, then I can get us in at The Pink Door...the manager owes me a favor. I know it’s not as fancy, but come on. Okay. I love you, babe. Bye.”

She hung up the phone as Dean seethed. ‘Anniversary’? She had another alpha?! He pulled out his phone and tapped out a text to Sam, his eyes only leaving her long enough to make sure his thumbs had written his message correctly. Sam was in the chair next to him, staring at the desk, ten minutes later. “That’s her, right?” Dean whispered. “I’m not hallucinating, right?”

“How?” was Sam’s only answer. Dean shook his head. “Have you talked to-” Dean shook his head again.

“Been starin’ at ‘er like some kinda creeper. Sh-she called someone...said something about dinner, anniversary dinner.”

Sam looked over at him. “She has another alpha?” Dean shrugged. “Well...we gotta go ask.” Sam stood and walked over to the desk before Dean had a chance to stop him.

She looked up with an automatic smile at the approaching guest, but her smile disappeared when her eyes caught hazel ones. “Sam,” she said, a barely-audible whisper.

“It _is_ you.” Sam couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, she was alive...standing in front of him in that business casual dress and sensible pumps.

“Is Dean with you?” she squeaked, unable to take her eyes off of his.

“Yeah. He’s--he’s right over in the lounge.” Sam tucked his hair behind his ears and licked his lips. “We thought you were dead.”

“Um...this is...this isn’t a conversation for the lobby, Sam. C-come with me. Grab Dean,” she said before turning and walking away, heels clicking on the tile. Sam waved at the older Winchester as he followed Y/n to an office. She was sitting on the far side of a desk when they walked in.

Her scent should have been stronger in the small enclosed space, but it wasn’t. Dean closed the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Seattle, huh?” he snapped.

“I always have liked the rain,” Y/n replied quietly.

“What happened to you?” Sam asked, sitting in the chair on the other side of the desk. “You just left and-and then we were looking for you and-”

“You felt like part of you died,” she finished for him. “I’m sorry. It was gonna happen anyway. I _was_ dying when I left.”

“But you _didn’t_ die.” Sam said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She wasn’t dead. She was right there in front of them.

“No,” she started, avoiding their eyes as she continued, “But...your omega _did_.”


	2. Changed

**Summary** : Y/n explains how she ended up surviving. Dean doesn’t take it well.

**Story Warnings:** A/B/O dynamics, angst, mentions of plan to commit suicide

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What does that mean?" Sam asked.

"I was dying. I knew it...Sam, _you_ knew it. The only one that was in denial was the only one who could save me and he refused." Her eyes flicked to Dean and back to her desktop. "I couldn't die in that bunker with you feeling guilty about not being able to save me so I left to die in peace. I was gonna drink a bunch of whiskey, take a bunch of pills and...just drift off." She took a deep breath and looked up, focusing on Sam. "I was at the liquor store when a man appeared. He knew...he knew everything and he said he could fix me. Said there were...two paths. He had written two paths and I had to choose one."

"Some guy you've never met shows up at a liquor store and you actually listen?!" Dean snapped.

She glared up at him, instantly. "He knew everything. All our names, why I was dying, why my body wasn't accepting the enzyme from Sam, and he knew how to fix me, Dean. You wouldn't listen? Not if it was for _my_ life, I know, but you wouldn't listen for you or Sam?" Dean's face fell at the way she spoke to him. She glared another moment before turning her attention back to Sam. "If I stayed your omega, Dean's omega, I was going to die without a doubt, but he said he could…"

"He took our marks off of you?" Sam asked, a bit horrified at the idea.

"That was one of the paths, yes, but...not the one I chose." She licked her lips and swallowed heavily. "He changed me...made me...normal."

"Normal?" the alphas asked together.

"Beta. He made me beta."

The men were floored. "What do you--he made you--who the hell was this? Nobody's powerful enough to just _make_ someone a different gender...not without a lot of money and hormone injections and even then-" Dean started.

"His name was Chuck," she interrupted and they looked at each other. "Just snapped his fingers and I was a beta. I wasn't dying anymore and I was normal...just like all those years before I presented."

"And instead of coming to us, telling us what happened to you, what God did to you because Chuck was God, by the way, you move to Seattle and-and you take a fake name and you start working at a fucking hotel and-"

"You left me to die!" she snapped. "I was supposed to come back to you? When you wouldn't even fuck me to save my life? I wasn't omega anymore. You had no use for me. I regret leaving Sam, but I know he understands leaving for normal. If Chuck was God, then he took pity on me. He saw that I was dying and he took pity on me, let me take control of my life again."

She ran her hand across her face and turned her attention to Sam again. "I figured...it was better for you to think I was dead. You lost an omega either way. This way I could start over as a beta and not...worry about…"

Sam took a deep breath, pushing down his anger and sadness. “You...you...you could’ve called, Y/n...or emailed...s-something.”

She shook her head. “Can you honestly tell me that you’d have let me be if you didn’t think I was dead? There was closure for you if I died of rejection. You were able to move on.”

“Like Hell, we were!” Dean growled and she looked up at him, a bit of defiant apathy on her face. “Move on? We couldn’t move on! You smell any other omegas on us? Oh, wait, you _can’t_ smell anything on us!”

“Oh, wow,” she said, boredly. “You mean you didn’t find another omega to kill with your negligence? Color me surprised.”

Dean growled again, a deep rumble from his chest. His hands were shaking as he wrapped them around the back of the chair Sam was sitting in. “You expected your truemates to find another omega?”

“Look at you...pullin’ out the truemate thing like it made any bearing on the fact that you left me to die,” she said. “And quit your growlin’. It doesn’t affect me anymore.”

“Sam was your truemate, too, and _you_ left.”

She stood and straightened her dress. “I drove off into the sunset to die. Sam was my truemate...you’re exactly right. He didn’t deserve to see another mate die just because his brother was an asshole.” She stepped around the desk and looked down at the hazel-eyed hunter. “I’m very sorry, Sam. You’ll see it was better this way.” She patted his shoulder and looked up at Dean. “You should see a doctor about that tremor, Dean. An alpha your age, that could be signs of bad things to come.” She shouldered past him and wood splintered as he broke the back of the chair Sam was sitting in.

“Dean,” Sam warned, standing.

“She--how could she--I can’t even--” Words seemed to fail him in his rage, the shaking in his hands had traveled up his arms and he was breathing heavily.

Sam grabbed him by his shirt and forced him into the closest wall. “You don’t get to act like this, Dean,” he growled. “ _You_ did this! You might not see it this way but you are the reason she’s not our truemate anymore, you’re the reason she left, you’re the reason sh-she…” He took a deep breath and let go of Dean’s shirt. “Every snarky comment she just threw your way was true. You couldn’t get Amara out of your head and you couldn’t push past it long enough to save our omega so Chuck did it and I’m gonna pray extra hard tonight, thanking him.”

“Sam.”

“Go up to the room and _sleep it off_ ,” Sam demanded before walking away toward the concierge desk where Y/n was scribbling on a notepad. “I’m sorry about Dean. About all of it. I...I am very happy that you’re alive, Y/n, no matter how it happened.”

She sighed and looked up from her writing, apprehension on her face. “That’s very sweet, Sam.”

“Dean said he heard you on the phone...something about anniversary dinner?” Sam asked softly.

She nodded. “Yeah. Malcolm. Tomorrow’s our one-year.”

A pain of loss clutched at Sam’s heart but he smiled. “Congratulations. That’s amazing.”

“It’s not a big deal. I was with Derek for-” She shook her head, lips in a tight line.

“You’re alive...and happy. That’s all that matters,” Sam said, taking a deep breath. He used to be able to smell her emotions in her scent, but he couldn’t now. “You _are_ happy, right? Beta life in Seattle with...Malcolm?”

“Yes. Very happy.”

“Well...do you wanna tell me about him?” Sam asked. He honestly didn’t want to hear about the man, but if he could see her smile like she used to smile...it would be worth it.

“Um...we met here at the hotel. His house was being fumigated...termites. I hadn’t been working here for very long, just got promoted to concierge from night clerk.” She smiled softly. “He was the first guest to treat me like a human being. He asked me out to dinner the last night of his stay and things just...worked.”

“So, he treats you well?”

She smiled. A real smile. A bright smile that shined through his dark clouds. “He treats me amazing. He knows...he knows I’ve got some skeletons in my closet, but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t press. He loves his Aubrielle. Calls me ‘Belle’...likes to joke that he’s the Beast and I’m Beauty.”

“Wow. You _are_ happy.”

“Yeah, I am. Seattle’s been good for me.”

Sam tucked his hair behind his ear and nodded. “Well, then...I will just get Dean back to Kansas and we won’t bother you.” She gave him a grateful look and wiped under her eyes. Sam reached out and patted her hand. “Ya know...you still smell a bit like morning dew.”

“I wish I could say you still smell like vanilla and coffee, but…” She shook her head. “I’ve always regretted not saying ‘goodbye’, Sam.”

“It’s okay. I understand completely. I’m just happy you’re happy, Y/n. I’m gonna...I’m gonna go get Dean.”

She stepped around the desk and wrapped her arms around his chest. “Goodbye, Sam,” she said as she stepped back.

“Goodbye, Y/n,” Sam replied before heading back to the office. Dean was no longer standing in the middle of the office and he hadn't seen his brother go up to the room. "Shit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean walked around every car in the employee parking lot, looking for something that screamed Y/n. She wasn't still driving that old beat-up Ford, of course, because she had obviously traded up when she traded down to beta life...the fancy hotel job and her stupid boyfriend...he's probably beta, too.

A set of black pencils on the floorboard of a dark grey Audi caught his eyes. 'This Pencil Was Stolen From Geeks Who Drink Trivia'. He didn't think any other employee of the Patricia Hotel would be that into pop culture trivia, so he staked out the car. When he saw her walk out and get into the car, he followed her to a townhouse in Fremont. Her car was the only one in the drive, no anniversary boy. Dean waited for her to turn out the lights before he got out of the Impala and started looking around.

Through the window, Dean saw no signs of 'Aubrielle's' boyfriend. The decor was feminine with geeky undertones, more books than he could imagine she actually read and a few of those big-headed vinyl figurines. There was one loveseat and a coffee table that had a stack of magazines and Playbills from touring Broadway shows. The jackets on the hooks on the wall were both women's. Whoever she was seeing, they didn't live together.

Adrenaline was pumping through his body as he stomped back to the Impala and drove away. She would notice the Chevy if it was sitting on the street when she woke up, so he had to find somewhere to park it. A lot five blocks East was the perfect spot. He fell asleep in the front seat, hands tucked under his arms to keep his shaking from getting the best of him.


	3. Mine

**Summary** : Dean’s on the edge of feral, on the edge of a rut, and his omega is now a beta who’s dating another man. He’s not happy about it.

**Story Warnings: 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!** A/B/O dynamics, angst, kidnapping, aggressive alpha, Dean being obsessive and horrible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Dean," she moaned as he flicked his tongue across her nipple. She was desperate for him, pulling at his belt to gain access to his cock and pushing his pants down. He growled as she ran her hand over his boxer-briefs. “Dean, you’re so big-”_

_“You think it won’t fit? Oh, sweetheart. I will make it fit. I can smell how wet you are through your fuckin’ jeans. We will make it fit,” he growled into Y/n’s breast. He forced her jeans and thin cotton panties to the floor and shoved her around, dropping to his knees and burying his face in her slick-drenched cunt. He licked at her entrance, loving the sound of her gasps and moans, needing more, needing to feel her as well as taste her. He slid two fingers into her and she clenched around them as he kept eating her pussy._

_He pulled his hand away and pushed the tip of his cock into her perfect, soaking wet omega cunt. “You’re so amazing, ‘mega. Beautiful, tight omega. Gonna fill you up with my cum, gonna fill you up with my pups.” She whimpered as he growled and nipped at her neck. “Gonna mark you. Gonna make you mine. My truemate. My_ **_soul_ ** _mate. You want that? You want my mark? You want my knot, baby?”_

_“Yesyesyesyes, pleasepleaseplease, Alpha, please,” she whimpered into the mattress._

_“Yeah. Mine. My omega,” Dean growled, snapping his hips forward until his knot started to inflate. “Mine.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mine.” Dean sat up and ran his hand through his hair. He could feel his rut rampaging through his nerves and body, whole body tight and tense with aggression. The sun was up. Y/n would be on her way to breakfast, then work...and he was going on recon.

The back door was locked, but a little forceful action on the door got him in. He took a deep breath to make sure there were no errant scents in her home. He was happy to smell nothing but the weak beta version of her scent. He opened her fridge, looking through the veggies and fruits that would have made Sam oh, so proud. Not an ounce of meat, grease, or processed anything.

He looked over the books on her shelves. Nothing that interested him, especially in his state. He walked up the stairs and looked around. An office with a laptop on a desk, a few more of those vinyl figures, and several posters on the wall. He sat at the laptop and opened it. The hint on the lockscreen was ' **Thanks for all the fish** ', so he tried ‘hitchhiker’, ‘Douglas’, ‘Douglas Adams’, ‘42’, and ‘forty-two’. He punched her desk and growled, before trying another word. ‘Towel’ granted him access.

The background on her computer was the Avengers logo. There were several folders of pictures and a Star Wars game, but he went to her Chrome tab and pulled up her history. She was a member of several gender-reassignment support chat rooms and a couple sexual-assault survivors group, but she didn’t have any social media accounts and nothing that seemed like it might be sensitive information. 

He clicked on the pictures folder on her desktop and growled at the dozens of pictures of Y/n and a short, skinny man with too-big blue eyes. He was obviously wealthy based on his apparel and that just pissed him off more. He kept clicking, though, getting angrier with each picture of the couple...but when he got to the photos of her lying on a bed in lingerie, he growled loudly. 

The idea that she might have sent those pictures to the bug-eyed beta in the other pictures made him furious. “ _Mine_.” His hand smashed down on the laptop and the screen shattered. “Fuck.” He took a few breaths to try to calm his anger but it didn’t help. So he stood and walked into her bedroom. 

The bed was the one from the sexy pictures, so at least the pictures weren’t taken at the rich guy’s house. He went through her drawers and closet. Not a stitch of plaid. Not a single band tee or pop culture tee. She had a dozen fashionable scarves. Every piece of clothing was classy and cultured and opposite what his omega was. She was putting on this facade for this rich bastard and all the rich guests at her stupid job.

He ripped the lingerie to shreds when he found it hanging in the laundry room, before getting distracted by the smell of her dirty laundry. It smelled like her. Like _his_ omega. It was pie and bourbon and leather and bacon and it just wasn’t strong enough!

Dean picked up a pair of her panties, a stylish pair made of pink silk that had a bow on the front. They smelled more strongly of her. He buried his nose in the fabric and moaned, a low rumble. His dick grew hard in his pants as he took in her scent. His. It was the only refrain. Y/n was his. He stuffed the silk into his pocket and went back into her bedroom, flopping on his back on her bed and grabbing her pillow. He rubbed the memory foam pillow and case against his scent glands, happy to make something of hers smell like him. Marking his territory. It calmed him...but not for long. He smashed the mirror over her dresser before leaving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The red Alfa Romeo that pulled up in front of Y/n’s townhouse got there about an hour after the police left. Dean watched from a porch across the street as Y/n hugged the blue-eyed man. He suppressed the growl that tried to pull from his chest as Dean watched the other man help her into the passenger seat. His jaw twitched as he watched the sportscar disappear on the horizon. 

‘The Pink Door’. He remembered her saying that’s where they were going since her reservations to Canlis were co-opted by the old rich bitch. He walked purposefully toward the lot where he parked the Impala. Dean watched from the waiting area as Y/n and her boyfriend drank and laughed. Every time he was asked who he was waiting for, he just growled and they left him alone a while longer.

When the little bug-eyed beta reached into his pocket and took Y/n’s hand, Dean knew what was coming. When he went down on one knee, Dean jumped up and rushed him. Y/n gasped and got between them. “Dean! Stop!” 

The alpha pushed her out of the way as the other guests of the restaurant gasped and shrieked. “She’s _mine_!” he shouted as he slammed his fist into her boyfriend’s face, dropping down on top of him and punching him repeatedly.

“Dean, please! Please, stop!” she begged.

“Mine! Not yours.” Blood splattered across the dining room, red drops painting the white tablecloths.

“Alpha, please!” she tried desperately, standing and grabbing at his jacket. Dean’s eyes snapped to hers on the title. “Please,” she whispered. She could hear the hostess on the phone to the police, ‘feral alpha’ was being repeated in hushed tones. “Dean.”

Dean jumped up and grabbed her. She screamed as he flipped her over his shoulder and ran out of the restaurant with her. She kicked at him as he dropped her in the trunk of the Impala, but he didn’t even seem to notice. He just slammed the trunk and got in the driver’s seat. Sam could find his way home. Dean had to deal with his omega.


	4. Feeling, Not Thinking

**Summary** : Dean has gone feral. Y/n is trying to stall until rescue shows up.

**Story Warnings:** A/B/O dynamics, angst, kidnapping, aggressive feral alpha, Dean being obsessive and horrible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n always knew there was a possibility that the Winchesters would show up. She knew that one day her choice might blow up in her face, but she hadn’t expected her choice to blow up in her boyfriend’s face. Malcolm hadn't done anything wrong. He was one of the sweetest, most patient, most loving and bright men she'd ever met. She hoped Dean hadn't killed him.

She couldn't imagine what Dean was thinking. She was beta, now. She couldn't really help him with the rut he was going through. She couldn't put an end to the feral state his mind had entered. He shouldn't give her the time of day without those secondary gender markers in her system. But he wasn't thinking, was he? Feral was all about the animal brain of an alpha. All about the feeling, not the thinking, and Dean had always felt things on a much deeper scale than anyone else.

She was loath to think what a feral alpha might do in this situation. Her mind couldn't help but call forth images of the demon wearing her ex-fiance...when she was tied to a table, helpless to stop what happened to her. Dean wouldn’t do that...would he? Even feral, he was still Dean, right?

The tires rumbled as the Impala pulled over to the shoulder of the road. She flinched and squeezed her eyes tight against the light as the trunk opened. “Eat.” A protein bar hit her chest and she gasped, her eyes opening and looking down at the food.

“Dean, please, just let me go. I can-”

“Eat,” he repeated, before shutting the trunk on her again.

“Fuck! Dean!” Her foot connected with the metal closest to her. “You need a damn omega, you prick! _I CAN’T HELP YOU!_ ” The car rumbled to life and she could feel it pull back onto the road. She shouted out her distress to deaf ears for a few minutes before calming and pulling open the protein bar. She wasn’t used to eating them anymore. The cardboard taste of the ‘chocolate’-flavored bar made her cringe. After a year and a half of living a mostly-vegetarian lifestyle free of processed sugars, it was a bit jarring...but she was hungry.

“Dean! This isn’t going to help. I know you’re going feral and you can’t really wrap your head around complicated themes like biogenetics, but a beta isn’t going to help you. And I am a beta now, Dean. I can’t help you. You need someone who can help you with--with all this. I’m not-” She sighed and looked around the dark of the trunk. “I should have told you guys, I know. I just wanted to move on. Don’t you think I had the right to move on? You didn’t even want me, Dean. You hadn’t kissed me in months. That demon ruined me for you. So what’s the point of all this? All this possessive bullshit?”

She had a feeling she was talking to herself, that he either couldn’t hear her or wasn’t hearing her. So she just kept talking. “I thought you were Heaven in plaid when I met you, ya know? This wonderful man, an alpha who would respect me, treat me right. One who saw a _person_ , not an omega...and the first time you kissed me, all I wanted was to spend the rest of the night getting drunk on your lips. But you changed, Dean. You stopped caring about me. You stopped loving me. So why are you doing this? Why won’t you let me go?” 

She wished she hadn’t left her phone in her purse at the restaurant. She could call the cops in Smith County, have Dean stopped before he made it to the bunker. Once he got her to the bunker, the only one who could save her was Sam...and she didn’t want to be the reason Sam had to hurt his big brother.

“I gave up everything for you. I just left everything behind. You’re mad that I did it again but you’re the one who taught me how. Except, this time, I had to stop calling my parents...had to stop updating my friends through social media. Nobody knows I’m even alive. My family mourned me just the same as you did...same as Sam did, and I feel horrible about that, you don’t even know, but I _had_ to. I had to start over...and I did a great job of it. I remade myself after Chuck remade me.” She shook her head and sighed. “I’m healthier. I’m happier. I had a good job. I had a _great_ thing with Malcolm. I mean...it wasn’t perfect, I’m not gonna claim it was. Learning to be in a beta relationship after being in an alpha-omega thing was...different. Probably why I never fucked him...but I was getting there. If you hadn’t barged in, I was probably going to let him take me home with him tonight. God, he was so patient. He waited a year, never got past second base and he was gonna marry me. He wanted-” 

She thudded her head back against the false bottom of the trunk. “If you killed him, I will never forgive you. He was a good man and he loved me...like I _thought_ you did. You had no right. After what you did, you had no right to take away a man who wanted to love me.” She hoped Malcolm was okay, that he was alive, but...a feral alpha wasn’t likely to leave a rival male breathing. “I’ll never forgive you,” she repeated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n wasn’t sure how long she was in the trunk, but it was long enough that her whole body felt numb by the time the car rumbled to a stop. She heard the key go into the trunk’s lock and she looked away so that the lights wouldn’t blind her. “Out,” Dean demanded, grabbing her arm and yanking.

“Dean, wait, please!” She struggled a bit as he pulled her out of the trunk. “Stop! I have to pee, stop jostling me!”

“Walk,” he grunted, moving his grip to the back of her neck and pushing her.

“You’ve really got that monosyllabic ‘Caveman alpha’ thing down pat, don’t you, Dean?” she grumbled as he pushed her toward the stairs. “Seriously, Dean, can you take me to the bathroom, please? I’ve been in that trunk since-”

“Move,” he growled.

She grabbed the railing as she walked down the steps into the main bunker. Her high heels were long ago kicked off in the trunk, so she was walking barefoot on cold stone. She was grateful when he walked in the direction of the closest restroom, leaning over her to push the door open and send her stumbling forward into it. She didn’t bother locking the stall door, shimmying her panties down her legs in full view of the alpha. She cringed when he pulled a pair she recognized out of his pocket and brought them to his face. “Ew,” she whispered as she took a seat to do her business. “What’s the plan here, Alpha? Do you even _have_ one? Because even if you convince me to fuck you, it’s not gonna do a damn thing for your mental state.” She wiped and fixed her clothes, walking to the sink and washing her hands as he stuffed the panties back into his pocket.

He was suddenly behind her, pressing her into the edge of the sink. “No plan.” The low timbre of his voice made her knees weak. It called forward memories of him praising her scent and her body in that same deep tone. “Don’t care.”

“Dean...I-” She took a deep breath and collected herself. It wasn’t fair for him to do this. This whole situation was completely unfair. “Dean, I’m willing to find some way to help you. I can get you a--an omega. I can-”

“No. Mine,” he growled and she shook her head.

“I’m not. Not anymore. You have to get it through your feral stupidity, Dean!”

Dean’s hand came around to her front and grabbed her thin scarf, yanking it away from her neck and tossing it to the ground. His fingers immediately traced the bite mark on the right side of her neck where her scent gland used to be. “Still mine. _Still_ mine.”

Y/n opened her mouth to argue, but then his lips were covering the scar of who she used to be. Heat rushed her core, her clit tingling as his tongue laved across her skin. His hands grasped at her thighs, pulling her dress up. “D-Dean, I’m--please, I--” She swallowed thickly and took a deep breath to steady herself. “Alpha, I’m hungry. I need to eat or I-I’ll be weak...too weak. Please.” 

His hands stopped their upward trek and he pulled back slightly. “Fine. C'mon,” he grunted before walking away from her. 

She let out a very heavy sigh and physically shook herself before following. She was hoping she could stall Dean long enough for Sam to show up. Because he was just going to keep going. He was going to keep up this sexually aggressive bullshit...and as much as she hated it, as much as she hated him for what he’d done, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep denying his advances. He was one of the best she’d ever had and he knew exactly how to make her weak in the knees...and he was still the most attractive man she’d ever seen.

She ran to the library while Dean kept walking to the kitchen. One of the extra cell phones was plugged in on the desk and she flipped it open and dialed Sam’s number. “Dean?” he answered after two rings.

“No, it’s me,” she whispered. “He’s gone feral, he kidnapped me and took me to the bunker. Tell me you’re on your way.”

“Yeah, but I’m still two hours out. Are you okay?”

“Uh...yeah, mostly. He’s...Sam, I can’t...if he...I need you to get here as fast as possible, okay?” she whispered, not knowing how to put her distress into words. “Hey. Do you know...he Hulked out on Malcolm before he took me...is Mal...is he okay?” Sam’s silence spoke for him. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, Y/n.”

She licked her lips and swallowed down her pain. “Just get here,” she whispered before shutting the phone and running down the hall to the kitchen. Dean was standing at the stove, stirring something in a pot. "Why'd you leave me to die?" she asked as she sat at the table and looked across the kitchen at him. She had to keep hold of her anger. Anger at what he did to Malcolm, anger at what he did to her.

"Amara." The name of the Darkness did nothing to explain.

"What does she have to do with it?"

The alpha growled in annoyance. The answer was obviously too difficult for his feral mind. "She wouldn't...let me."

"Let you what? Fuck me? Love me? Care whether I lived or _died_?" she snapped.

"Amara was in here," he said, rapping his knuckles against his forehead. "No room for you."

That actually made sense, to Y/n's utter dismay. Dean told you that when the Mark came off, he'd seen a vision of her and she'd kissed him. Even when she was a child, she'd had an affinity for him. Amara said they were connected...and she wouldn't want Dean to be connected to Y/n. She hated that it finally made sense.

"Malcolm didn't do any-" Y/n started, but cut off when Dean growled. "Dean, you have to understand, okay? I am not an omega anymore."

"Still mine." Dean grabbed a bowl from the shelf over the sink and poured soup straight from the side of the pot into the bowl, grabbing a spoon and dropping the food in front of her. "Eat now."

"Dean, I'm not gonna have sex with you," she said, looking up at him.

He laughed. The bastard actually laughed. "Okay," he responded smugly, before gesturing at the bowl. “Eat.”


	5. Feral

**Summary** : Dean is feral and fixated on Y/n. Rowena has a fix for it, but is the cost too high?

**Story Warnings:** A/B/O dynamics, angst, kidnapping, aggressive feral alpha, Dean being obsessive and horrible, noncon groping 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You done?” Dean asked as Y/n scraped the spoon against the side of the bowl, stalling to get the last of the soup in an effort to keep the feral alpha at bay. She shook her head but he grabbed the bowl and slammed it down on the other side of the table. “Done. Get up.”

“Dean. Please, just--just wait a minute, please.” The alpha growled and reached down to pick her up. “Fuck, don’t do this!” She pushed him away from her and stepped back, fearful of the anger in his eyes, but more afraid of what would happen if he took her anywhere else. Sam was still a half hour out, at least. “I’m not going to sleep with you and I know you’re not gonna force me, Dean. Not after what you did to Derek after-”

“You’re mine!”

“Yeah. Okay. I _was_ , but...I can’t-”

Dean reached out and grabbed her hair and she screamed as he forced her to stand. “Quiet! Move!” His hand didn’t leave her hair as he pushed her toward the hallway.

“Dean, please, you can’t make me-”

He pushed her into the wall of the hallway and reached down to wrap his hands around the backs of her thighs, hoisting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. “You want it,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Can’t smell you, no slick drippin’ out of you, but I _know_. Know you. Know your sounds. Know your expressions. You want me.”

Y/n looked away from his lust-dark green eyes and closed her own. “You killed me. _Murdered_ Malcolm. I don’t want you.”

“Don’t lie.” He attached his mouth to her neck and she let out a soft sigh. “Little sigh. You like it.” She gasped as he dragged his teeth across her skin. “You missed me. Admit it.”

“Y-you left me to-”

“I can fix it.” She shook her head. He couldn’t fix it. Chuck fixed it. "You thought'a me, didn't'cha?"

"That doesn't...course I did, Dean. But-" She took a shaking breath as Dean thrust his denim-clad erection against her. "Even if I wanted to, I can't help. Beta does nothing for alpha rut."

"You're my truemate, Y/n. You'll help."

"No! It's basic science! I'm not your truemate anymore because I don't release those pheromones anymore and I'm not gonna be able to help you because I can't take your fucking knot!" she exclaimed, a hint of desperation on her words.

He hummed and licked at her earlobe. "I'll make it fit. You're mine, Y/n. We'll make it-"

As much as his words sent heat through her, she had to keep arguing. Her body might miss him, but her brain wanted nothing to do with him. "You'll hurt me. Betas _can't_ take a knot. You don’t want to hurt me, _again_ , do you?”

"Shhhhh. Don't worry." His hand slid under her dress and she shivered as he groped at her skin until his grip found her breast. He easily found her nipple through her bra and her head fell back to thunk against the wall when he started rolling it between his thumb and finger, pairing the motion with a roll of his hips to press his erection against her. “God, love the sounds you make. Remember the sound you made the first time I knotted you, baby?”

“Please, d-don’t do this,” she whimpered. “I can’t take it, D.”

“You will. You’ll-”

“ _DEAN_!” Sam’s voice filled Y/n with a sense of relief. He must have put the pedal down to get to her. “Y/n!”

“Sam!” Y/n responded, trying to drop her legs from Dean’s waist, but the alpha just pushed her harder into the wall, refusing to let go of her. “By the kitchen!”

Sam’s eyes instinctively ran down the length of her skin as he appeared in the corridor, the way her dress was hiked up to give Dean access to her just too tantalizing to ignore. He shook himself out of it quickly, though, and advanced on his brother cautiously. “Dean, you gotta drop her.”

“No.” Dean buried his face in her neck and dropped his hands to grab her ass. “Mine.”

“No, Dean. _Ours_.” Sam stepped closer and pointed to her neck. “My mark is still there, too, isn’t it?”

Dean pulled his head back just enough to look at the bite mark on the left side of her neck. Sam’s mark. “Yeah.”

“So she’s still ours. Mine, too. So...you’re gonna share, right?” Sam asked, calmly, putting his hand on Dean’s shoulder. The older alpha sneered for a moment before he let go of Y/n, letting her legs drop and stepping away from the wall. Sam immediately sprung into action, using the hand on Dean’s shoulder to push him away from the woman and maneuver him into a headlock. “Run, Y/n!”

“What about you?!” she shouted, backing away but not running.

“I can handle him! Go!” Sam demanded as Dean started throwing elbows and trying to slam his brother into the walls.

Y/n ran, but she didn’t hide. She still knew the bunker like it was her home. She still had the training of a hunter’s omega. She wasn’t going to hide from Dean. She was too strong for that. It wasn’t hard for her to find the spelled shackles in the dungeon. It took a little longer to find a syringe and a drug she knew would knock the alpha out. By the time she made it back to the corridor outside of the kitchen, the alphas were wrestling on the floor, growling loudly as they grabbed at each other’s hair and clothes, knees and elbows connecting with any bit of flesh they could get to.

“Sam, pin him!” she demanded and her voice was enough of a shock to Dean that Sam was able to gain the upper hand enough to allow Y/n to jab the needle into his neck and depress the plunger. Dean kept fighting for a few moments, but then he went limp under Sam who took a heavy breath as Y/n offered the restraints to him. Sam pulled Dean’s arms behind his back and clicked the cuffs on his wrists. “Do you need me to help you get him to the dungeon?” she asked.

“Yeah, just gimme a minute...catch my breath,” Sam said, nodding as he slid to the floor next to his passed out brother. “I told you to run.”

“I didn’t want you to hurt each other. Wasn’t gonna bounce when you needed me.” She slid to the floor on the opposite side, crossing her ankles and tucking her feet beside her. “Thank you for showing up. Thank you for being...every bit the alpha I remember.”

“He’s the same, too. I know it doesn’t seem like it and...I know that he’s changed a lot. The Mark of Cain and Amara and losing you...but deep down-” Y/n looked away down the corridor as Sam spoke. “Deep down, he never stopped loving you. He never stopped thinking about you. He’s a bit more of a knothead now, but I think it’s just because he couldn’t deal with this.”

“Am I supposed to forgive him, Sam? Am I supposed to be okay with the fact that he left me to die? Or what he did to Malcolm? Am I supposed to forgive that?” she whispered.

“No. You don’t have to forgive, Y/n. I don’t think he deserves your forgiveness.” Sam stood and she followed suit. “Grab his feet.” They were quiet as they carried Dean to the dungeon. Sam restrained his brother in the chair and Y/n was reminded of the demon that taunted her and called her ‘little widow’.

“What are you gonna do with him?” she asked, rubbing her neck. Her palm was able to distinguish every tooth of the raised bite mark there. Even after two years of hiding the scars under scarves, she knew the marks as intimately as her own face.

Sam sighed heavily and shook his head. “I’m not sure. We-we don’t really know any omegas that could get him out of this. May-maybe I could hire someone, I don’t know.” He turned his kaleidoscope eyes on her and smiled. “It’ll be okay. I’ll figure it out.”

“What about that sheriff in Stillwater? Donna?” Y/n suggested. “She totally had the hots for Dean and she was omega, right?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, but...she’s got an alpha. She’s with Jody.”

Y/n gasped. “I thought they were both straight. Weren’t they both married?”

“Yeah. They found each other and it just clicked, I guess. Jody’s really let her hair down since she met Donna.”

Y/n shook her head. “The things you miss when you’re dead.” The sentence struck her. It made her think of her life in Seattle. She wasn’t sure she could go back. People would ask questions. Questions she would never be able to answer. Aubrielle was just as dead as Y/n, just as dead as Malcolm. She was going to have to start over again. She licked her lips. "He wouldn't want you to pay for an omega for him. 'No cash for ass' remember?"

Sam nodded. "I remember. But this is...special circumstances."

"You don't even know if that'll work. He's laser-focused on me and I'm not even an omega anymore," she argued slightly. "Before you spend the money on some flesh, can we hit up the lore? Maybe call a few people that know a few things? Crowley's been around a long time, he might-"

"Rowena would know more," Sam interrupted, pulling out his phone.

"Wait, since when do you have Crowley's mom's number?" Y/n asked, her eyes going wide.

"About the time she helped us save the universe from Amara," he answered, putting the phone on speaker. The line clicked and he gave a little smile. “Rowena.”

“Samuel,” the Scottish accent chirped. “Yer timin’ is digital, as always. And by that, I mean you call at precisely the _wrong_ moments.”

“Sorry for the inconvenience, Rowena. It won’t take long. I just need a bit of information.”

“Oh, Dean’s dying again then?” Sam didn’t respond, a look of irritation crossing his face. “Or is it the world this time, lad?”

“It’s Dean. He’s gone feral and the circumstances are-”

“Didn’t yew have an omega before? He shouldnae be feral.”

“Exactly. That’s why I’m calling _you_. Because his circumstances aren’t normal.”

“What don’t I know, Samuel?”

“Our omega, the one we thought died…” Sam’s eyes lifted from his phone screen to Y/n’s face. “She didn’t. Chuck made her a beta.” Rowena let out a little gasp of an ‘Oh!’ sound. “When we found out, Dean went into rut and he...he hyperfocused on Y/n and went feral. For some reason, the fact that she’s beta doesn’t seem to matter to him and-”

“Of course it doesn’t!” Rowena snapped. “She still wears his mark. She’s still tethered to him. Whether she can take his knot or not, she’s still connected to him and he’s not going to come out the other side of this until he mates with her... _properly_.”

“But he can’t!” Y/n chimed in. “I’m not omega anymore.”

“Well, then Dean Winchester goes further and further into his alpha brain until he becomes just as much animal as the things he hunts.” Fear and loss filled Sam and Y/n’s faces. The idea of Dean getting worse, more animalistic...it was too much to bear. “Unless, of course, a powerful witch knew an ancient spell that could give Dean his omega back...then he’d be back to his normal, alpha hunter animal self.”

Y/n’s face went blank but Sam’s lit up. “How?”

“You really think there’s not a spell out there that can turn a beta into an omega? With the premium placed upon an omega’s wee shoulders, of course there’ve been spells to change gender fer as long as there’s been omega trade and omega runs.” Y/n turned away as the witch continued speaking. “Of course, most spells just created the illusion of an omega, but that wouldn’t help poor Dean. He needs his omega or he’ll never get better.”

Sam licked his lips and took the phone off speaker. “Yeah, um...I will get back to you on that. Get it gathered, just in case.” He turned the phone off and stuck it in his pocket. He was silent for a minute as he watched her shoulders tense and release, anger and sadness in her body language. “I know it’s a lot to ask,” he started.

Her laugh was loud and cold. “‘A lot to ask’?” She turned to look up at him, turning a glare on Dean for a second before focusing on Sam again. “It’s the Winchester way, isn’t it? Any means are justified. It doesn’t matter who dies or gets hurt in the process.”

“Y/n-”

“This is how Charlie died!” she snapped and Sam’s eyes went wide. “Because you didn’t care who you hurt as long as Dean was safe and I was right there with you, begging you all to save him from the Mark of Cain, and what did it get me, Sam?” She wiped at the tears suddenly rolling down her cheeks and shook her head. “He abandoned me once that Mark was off of him. He was going to let me die, Sam...and you want me to save him? What, Amara doesn’t have a hold on him anymore so I should just step right back into my role as Winchester cockholster?”

“I know you’ve gotten accustomed to life as a beta, Y/n, and I know he hurt you, but this is _Dean_. Dean who took you home when you went into your first heat in four years and made sure you were safe and cared for. Dean who hugged you and loved you...who sat with you in the bathroom every time you took a pregnancy test and held you to him when they came up negative.” Sam stepped closer as she looked at her feet, remembering the way she felt every time she failed to give them pups...how Dean had helped her through the disappointment. “The Mark changed him. Amara changed him. This feral bullshit is changing him. But under it all, he’s still the man you fell in love with...and if you do this, Y/n...if you save him, w-we can fix this. You would be our truemate again. This hole in me...isn’t there a hole in you?” he finished softly.

“Yes! And Mal was doing a fine job of filling it! I was _happy_! I was happy, Sam, and now you want me to throw it all away to save the asshole who threw me out like garbage?! Fuck you! And fuck Dean, too!” she shouted before stomping out of the dungeon.

She didn’t leave. All of her anger wasn’t enough to push her out that heavy iron door. She went off to find the room that used to be her bedroom, instead. She twisted the knob and waited before pushing the door open. The last memory she had of the place was the night she went into her last heat. There had been sweat and vomit all over the bed, a hastily-made nest of her alphas’ clothes on the mattress. All of the pieces of her life before the Winchesters tucked into the corners.

She pushed the door open and her jaw dropped. It was immaculate. Her clothes cleaned and folded, likely years ago, her bedsheets clean, her belongings placed exactly where they were supposed to be. She stepped inside and sat on the end of the bed. She just wanted everything to go back to normal... _her_ normal.


	6. Memories

**Summary** : Y/n is faced with a tough decision: Save the life of the man who saves the world or get revenge on the man who let her die.

**Story Warnings:** A/B/O dynamics, angst, kidnapping, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of possible infertility, 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n hated that she was sitting in the bunker. She hated that Dean was chained up in the dungeon. She hated that she couldn't make herself walk out that heavy iron door and leave him to his own devices. She deserved to. She deserved to move on and to start over again...again.

She looked around the room. All the things she left behind. All the things she thought they would have tossed by now. They had no reason to keep these things. No reason to keep…

“The bear?” she whispered, standing up to pick up a purple stuffed bear from the dresser. Looking down into its green plastic eyes, she ran her hand over its fur.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_“Hey, baby,” Dean said, knocking on their bedroom door. He knew Y/n was in their bed, he could smell depression in her scent. “Y/n, you awake?” She made a small noise and he twisted the doorknob, stepping inside. “Hey.” He moved to sit next to her prone form and put his hand on her shoulder. “Turn over and talk to me, Y/n.”_

_“No.”_

_Dean sighed and pulled the blanket down to reveal her red eyes and tear-stained face. “Baby, come on. Sit up and talk to me.”_

_“I’m never gonna be a mom,” she said, her voice squeaky from crying._

_“Yes, you are. You’re gonna be an amazing mom. We’re gonna keep trying and it’s gonna work, Y/n. We just gotta keep trying,” he said, pulling her up and into his arms._

_“What if I’m broken? What if I’m never gonna-”_

_“Shhh. You’re not broken. If anybody’s broken, it’s me.” She sniffled and buried her head in his chest. “We’re gonna figure this out.” He reached behind him and picked up a small purple bear. “Hey. I, uh, got this...it’s for you for now, but when we...it’ll be for the pup.”_

_She sniffled again and pulled back to look at the bear. “Where’d you-”_

_He shrugged. “Service station in town. I was filling up the car and I saw it and-”_

_She wrapped her arms around his neck and took a deep inhalation of his scent. “Thank you, Dean. I love you.”_

_“I know,” he whispered._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n reached up and wiped at her eyes, hugging the bear to her chest. Dean had been so fucking sweet. “What the hell happened?” She took a shaking breath and a whimper came out of her. “We used to be so good. We used to be in love.”

She shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed. Being in the bunker was bringing up a bunch of feelings she thought she had dealt with. She thought she was done loving them, she thought she was done caring about them.

Of course, that was a lie. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d thought about the alphas she left behind. She dreamed of them. She missed them. She kept Malcolm at a distance because every time she thought about having sex with him, she couldn’t help but imagine Dean and Sam.

But that didn’t excuse the fact that Dean killed the beta. Feralty didn’t excuse it either, not really. Why couldn’t Dean have just left her alone? He didn’t have any problem leaving her alone before, so why wouldn’t he leave her to her life?

She opened her eyes and set the bear against the pillow, standing and running her hands down her face. She shouldn’t miss them. She should just leave. Let Dean rot. But she couldn’t stop thinking, couldn’t stop remembering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Y/n sat snuggled up in Sam’s lap on one of the chairs in the library, running her nose up and down his neck as he tried to read. She was on the edge of her first heat since the assault and she was feeling needy. She hadn’t left Sam’s side in days. To his credit, he didn’t_ **_seem_ ** _annoyed by her clinging to him. He shifted the book to his left hand and ran his right hand down her back._

_“Hey,” he whispered. She pulled away to look into his eyes. “You wanna go to bed?” She shook her head. “I mean together, Y/n. I’m done reading for the night.”_

_“You don’t have to be done. I’m okay here,” she whispered._

_Sam smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Let’s go to bed, baby.” He set the book on the side table and picked her up, holding her to his body and walking her toward his bedroom. She snuggled herself closer to him as he walked. “You want me to get your pajamas, Y/n?” She shook her head lethargically, already half-asleep in his arms. He laid her on his bed and wrapped his arms around her. He waited for the moment her breathing got deep and he kissed her hair. “You’re the best thing in my world, Y/n. I love you so much,” he whispered._

_“Love you, too, Sam,” she whispered back, her voice small and dreamy._

_Sam just smiled and adjusted his embrace._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her heart hurt. Her brain hurt. Everything hurt.

If Y/n didn’t let Rowena turn her back into an omega, Dean was going to completely lose his mind. He’d die an animal, worse than what he was when he had the Mark of Cain. Dean would die, Sam would wither without him. She wasn’t sure she could let that happen.

“But I should,” she snapped. “I should let them both die. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about either of them ever again.” But she could feel the falseness of her own words. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she could see it in her own eyes. “God, this isn’t fair.”

She left the room and walked slowly toward the library. Sam was sitting with a stack of books, obviously trying to find another way to save Dean. “He stays chained up.” Sam’s eyes shot up to meet hers. “Until he’s fixed, he stays chained up. And _after_ he’s fixed, I need...I need space. I’m not just jumping right back into your Winchester craziness. I’m my own woman and I can’t-”

“Okay!” he agreed just a little bit too loud. He cleared his throat and stood. "Okay. We can do that." He stepped closer. "Thank you, Y/n."

"Just...come get me when Rowena gets here." She turned and walked away toward her bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"You know, your facial symmetry is the most appealing I've ever seen," Malcolm said, smiling._

_Y/n’s cheeks heated up and she looked down at the salad plate in front of her. First dates were always awkward. Being complimented like that was always awkward. Being complimented on a first date was like awkward squared. “Thank you,” she said._

_“You don’t go out on many dates, do you?” he asked._

_She looked up and shook her head. “I, uh, haven’t had much luck with it.”_

_“Toxic exes?” he asked, reaching for his wine glass._

_“Oh. Um...yeah. It was...a couple bad ones...and a good one that just didn’t work out,” she answered, picking up her water glass._

_“Well, their loss is my gain, isn’t it?” he said, smiling. Her cheeks went hot again and he chuckled. “I had a few real bad relationships myself. I was about a month away from marrying this one woman...she was sleeping with her boss.” He shook his head. “I suppose it was a blessing in disguise I found out when I did.”_

_Y/n laughed a little, happy that this attractive, wealthy man had the same kind of romantic trouble she had. “I had a similar thing happen. I had a fiance...for years...but he decided...to walk away. It was a blessing too.”_

_“And the others? Were they a blessing too?”_

_Y/n shrugged. “They were...milestones.” She couldn’t think of another way to put it. She had to live through Sam and Dean before she could find someone better. Maybe Malcolm Charles was the someone better. “I don’t regret them, but...I wouldn’t go back.”_

_“That’s good. Looking back is never good. Keep looking forward.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n rolled over on her side and closed her eyes, sniffling. “Keep looking forward,” she whispered. “Keep looking forward.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_“Yoga? Really?” Y/n’s eyebrows quirked up and she laughed. “That doesn’t really sound like an awesome date, Mal.”_

_“Come on. It’ll be great.” Malcolm smiled, his blue eyes shining. “I know the hotel has been putting you through it lately and yoga is amazing stress relief.”_

_“Is this a ploy to get me to your place for some ‘stress relief’?” she asked, taking a drink of her oolong tea. She couldn’t drink coffee without remembering Sam so she switched to tea. She couldn’t eat steak without remembering Dean. Vanilla flavors were switched to chocolate. Her entire diet altered by the lingering memories of their scents._

_“Don’t say it like that. You know I’m respecting your boundaries.” She knew that. He was more than a little respectful. After he took her home the night of their third date, when she knew she was expected to let him make a move, she told him a redacted version of what happened in the warehouse, citing it as reason for her having to move slowly._

_He took a drink of his espresso and leaned forward. “Seriously, Aubrielle, you know I have sleep disorders. Yoga helps center me. It’s good for you.” He smiled. “I’ll go easy on you.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“Really?” he whispered excitedly._

_“Yeah. Okay. I'll do yoga with you. I’ll bring a change of clothes to work with me and I’ll come over to your place. You can teach me to praise the sun or whatever.”_

_“Great. That’s perfect.”_

_She was nervous about the outfit. There was no way to make a scarf look okay with her tank top and sweatpants. Her marks would be visible. If Malcolm asked, she wasn’t sure how she’d respond. But he didn’t ask. He just helped her into the correct positions and laughed with her when she fell over. He reached out and helped her up, both of them still laughing as she bounced to her feet. Her eyes caught his and her breath froze in her chest. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his, reaching her hand up to cup his jaw. Malcolm blinked a few times before he stepped back, a bit awestruck._

_“Where’d that come from?” he asked._

_“It just felt like the right time for the first kiss. Was I-was it too-”_

_Malcolm cut her off with another quick kiss. “It was perfect, Belle._ **_You’re_ ** _perfect.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Keep looking forward. Keep looking forward,” Y/n whispered sitting up. Malcolm was gone. Her sweet blue-eyed beta was gone. No looking back at him. Just looking forward to fixing Dean.

A knock came to her door and she sat up. “Y/n, you okay?” Sam asked through the wood.

“Define ‘okay’,” she called out. “Rowena here?” She stood from the bed and walked over to the door, opening it and looking up at Sam.

He nodded, his lips twitching. “Yeah. She’s setting up the spell now.”

Y/n nodded. “Okay. Let’s get this over with,” she said, pushing past him into the hallway. Sam just watched as she walked toward the library.


	7. Converting

**Summary** : Y/n has made her decision and she has to go through with it. 

**Story Warnings:** A/B/O dynamics, angst, kidnapping, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of possible infertility, **18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!,** restraints, 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The redheaded witch turned to Y/n and Sam as they walked into the library. “Ah, Samuel. There you are. And this must be our lucky beta.”

“Why do you look so cheery about this?” Y/n grumbled.

“I’ve spent centuries perfecting my sunny disposition, dear,” she said, smiling. “I take it yew arenae happy about this arrangement.”

Y/n licked her lips. “I was happy as a beta. I was thriving without these assholes.” She shook her head. “But if I let Dean die, Sam won’t last. If they both die...who’s gonna save us from the next apocalypse?”

“Well, at least you can see the big picture,” Rowena cooed, turning back to her spell components. “Ya know, from what I’ve heard from yer former alphas, you were a picture-perfect omega. Was that just a bit of rose-color on their memories?”

“I was a perfect omega...but they were perfect alphas back then too, so...guess we all fucked up.” Y/n honestly couldn’t think of a single reason why Sam and Dean would have spoken to the witch about her. "So, how long will this take? I just need to...know how long I have before I can get out of here."

"Well, the spell will take about ten minutes to complete. Then yule have a few minutes fer yer body to shift back...glands to regrow, womb to become more accommodating. Then, yew can go fix Dean, shouldn't take too long with how far gone the boy is."

"Sounds good," Y/n whispered.

"Wait, you're going to leave immediately after?" Sam asked, eyes soft and full of sadness.

"I told you I would need space. Did you think I meant I needed space later?" she snapped.

"Oh, Samuel, do try to see it from her side. Yer brother almost killed her an' now she's got to give up her entire life and beta existence to save him. You expect her to stick around? You didn't even want to be around him after he caused her death." Y/n examined the witch closely for the first time, as Sam left to go check on Dean. "I'm sorry, lass. But look at the bright side...ye got two good years as a beta."

"I would rather have had the two centuries you've had." Rowena smiled as she worked and Y/n took that as confirmation. "Your alpha didn't go feral? You didn't have to turn back?"

"My alpha left me to die with a pup in my belly because havin' a wee bastard with his side omega would be a scandal to his lordship. It almost killed me, the broken mating bond, and I swore I'd never let it happen again. He had an omega waitin' at home, so when I fixed myself, it didn't affect him...it just freed me." She turned to the other woman and gave a sympathetic look. "I know what yer giving up, Y/n...and I know it isn't entirely because you want those boys to be able to save the world next time it needs saving. You still love them, no matter what they've done to you."

"I'm not...doing this to…" Y/n took a deep breath. "I need them to be okay. Wondering about the pain losing their omega caused them, wondering about what losing me cost them, it kept me up at night. I moved on, I made a new life, but they were always there. They were dictating things in my existence even when I didn't...I need them to be okay, but I can't be okay if I'm with them."

"Not that yule be able to stay away fer long. Yer body, these marks on yer neck...they'll call you back before long."

"I'll fight it. I'm strong enough-"

"For a while, yes, but not forever." Rowena took a deep breath. "Are yew absolutely certain you want to do this, Y/n? Yer giving up control of yer life to save the man who left yew fer dead, called yer pining sickness 'psychosomatic', would have let yew die rather than knot you. Are yew sure?"

"The fact that you know that story, that you heard how picture-perfect an omega I was, that shows that they thought about me while I was gone. They missed me. They mourned me enough to bring it up to you. Dean regrets it, right? The way we left things?" Rowena nodded. "Then I'm sure."

"As long as yore sure."

The spell was herbs in a bowl, a few words of Latin, and a match. The smoke enveloped Y/n's body, forcing her to breathe it in, and she fell to her hands and knees. It wasn’t a snap and then she was different like it was with Chuck, but it wasn’t painful. It was just...weird. Small cramps went across her lower abdomen, her throat and neck felt tense from the new/old scent glands. She gagged as the smells around her, suddenly able to smell the burning herbs at a heightened rate, but under the rancid smell that reminded her of old lady perfume and craft stores was the smell of steak and vanilla and coffee and sex, Sam and Dean’s scents swirling together in her mind in a way she couldn’t deny she’d missed.

“Fuck!”

Rowena shuffled forward and dropped to her knees next to Y/n, rubbing her back. “It shouldn’t hurt much. Are yew all right?”

“Y-yeah, I’m...I’m okay, just...this bunker smells like sweaty alpha.”

“You can smell it again. That’s good news!” 

Y/n looked around and flipped over. “Yeah. ‘Good news’.” She stood on weak legs and took a deep breath through her mouth. “Fuck. Let’s just get this over with.” She stumbled a bit as she walked toward the dungeon, anxiety filling her.

Sam was waiting outside the door to storeroom 7B when she approached. He gasped, taking in a deep breath of her scent. She smelled amazing. Morning dew and old books. “It worked,” he whispered.

“Yeah. It worked. Go get me a condom.”

“Don’t you think we should-”

Y/n’s eyes snapped to Sam’s and she sneered. “Go. Get. A condom.” He nodded and walked toward his bedroom. Y/n could smell Dean from outside the door. She hadn't smelled anything so tantalizing in two years. There was a pit of anger in her stomach as she pressed herself closer to the door, closer to the smell making her mouth water and her pussy throb. She didn’t want to have to do this, but she also wanted nothing more.

She was lost in the scent of him when Sam walked up, trying to not get lost in the scent of _her_. She wasn’t here for him. He cleared his throat and offered the condom when she turned to him. She licked her lips and nodded as she took the foil packet. She pushed the door open and slipped inside. The smell was a hundred times worse in the room. She had to swallow to control the influx of saliva at the smell.

Dean growled as she approached and the sound sent a thrill through her. “‘Mega.” She took a few steps closer to him, his dark green eyes never leaving her as she moved. “Mine.”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “Unfortunately, that’s true. Mark on my neck says so. But right now...you’re stuck in that chair and I am in charge. So...guess you’re _mine_.” She walked forward and dropped to her knees in front of him, pulling open his belt and unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. She bit her lip as she grabbed his waistbands and muscled his clothes down his thighs. His cock bounced out of his boxers as soon as it was able and she gasped. She’d almost forgotten how big it was. She opened the condom and put it on, making sure it was secured with a decisive pump of her fist.

He growled low in his chest, struggling against the cuffs, struggling to get at his omega. She ignored the feral aggression and stood, shimmying out of her underwear. She wasn't going to get any more nude than she needed to be. She ran her hand up under her dress and pushed a finger into her pussy. She was more than wet enough to take him, dripping slick for the first time in years. She put her hand on his shoulder and threw her leg over his lap, guiding his cock into her and slowly lowering herself down until he was seated completely within her. He growled, trying to thrust into her, but barely being able to move. She kept her hand on his shoulder, wrapping the other around the plush leather back on the chair.

Y/n tried to keep her distance as much as she could as she started rolling her hips. He jerked, trying to get closer to her, but Sam had done a good job with the restraints. He felt perfect in her, just like she remembered, and she quickly lost herself in the familiar feel and smell of him, the grunting sounds he let out as she rode his cock. She started bouncing, leaning closer to him as she ground her clit into his pubic bone.

Dean’s fingers were white as they gripped the arms of the chair and he leaned his head forward to bury his face in the crook of her neck, breathing deeply to scent her. He moaned loudly and she clenched at the sound of him. “Y/n?” he groaned, his voice strained.

“Shut up,” she demanded, bouncing faster and harder, trying to get him to his end.

“What are you--why are you--why am I--fuck, are you omega again?” he asked, running his nose along her neck.

“Sounds like your brains are comin’ back,” Y/n whispered, clenching to make him groan. “Still...shut up...and get off of my neck.”

“You smell so good.” He licked at her skin and she shuddered.

“I said ‘shut up’,” she repeated with absolutely no conviction, riding him faster. “Just hurry up and knot me, you jerk.”

“So romantic,” he grunted.

“I’m not here to be romantic, I’m here to save your life.” She planted her feet and sped up, feeling the telltale sign of his knot beginning to inflate. She closed her eyes as she felt the knot start to catch at her entrance. “Just fuckin’...do it.”

He jerked his hips up as best as he could, forcing his knot into her cunt and making her scream in pleasure, grabbing at his shoulders and digging her fingernails in through his shirt. She ground against him until her orgasm hit and Dean pumped his seed into the condom. 

They were silent for a few moments as they breathed and calmed themselves. “Y/n, I-” he started, his voice strained.

“Don’t,” she said, looking away from him.

“Look, I just want to-”

“You don’t get to talk to me right now.”

“I’m _literally_ locked inside you,” he snapped. “This is when we talk, remember?”

“We _used_ to.” She shook her head. “But that was before...before everything. So, just shut up. Please, shut up.”

They sat in an angry silence, Y/n pulling away from him as much as possible. When his knot had deflated enough, she got up, letting his cock pull out of her. She left the condom on his soft cock, his pants and boxers around his knees. She bent over and grabbed her panties before starting to walk out. “You can’t leave me here like this!” Dean shouted.

“Sam’s here. He’ll let you out,” she said, stepping out into the hallway where Sam was waiting. “He’s back. He’s fine. I’m gonna head out.”

“Where are you gonna go?” Sam asked.

She swallowed heavily and looked at her bare feet, reminding herself to grab her shoes from the trunk of the Impala. “I’ll head into town. I hope there’s still that little five-room inn that little old lady runs. If not, I’ll find something.”

“Lebanon Inn is still up and running. What name are you going to-” Sam started to ask.

“The wallet with the cards for ‘Jill Burrell’ was in my room. I’ll go in under that. So, if you have to call on me...just ask for Jill.”

Sam nodded. He wanted to beg her to stay. He wanted to hold her and scent her and fuck her, but he just nodded and watched her walk away. He waited until he couldn’t see her anymore before he walked into the dungeon to release his brother.


	8. Lunch?

**Summary** : Sam is determined to soften the blow of what Y/n did to save Dean.

**Story Warnings:** A/B/O dynamics, angst, past kidnapping, Dean being a little stalker-y, some awkwardness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She just left?” Dean asked, rubbing at his wrists. 

“Why would she stay?” Sam responded, leaning against the dungeon wall with his arms crossed over his chest. “You think just because she saved your life that she’s forgiven you?”

Dean’s jaw clenched. “I didn’t mean to-” He sighed and shook his head. “I wasn’t in control of myself. I saw a rival for my omega and I had to take him out.”

“She wasn’t your omega, Dean. She wasn’t _anyone’s_ omega anymore. She was a beta and she was happy and I _begged_ her to put aside her happiness to save your sorry ass.” Sam rolled his eyes and pushed off from the wall. “She left because she never wanted to come back here in the first place and now she’s stuck with us again because _you_ went feral.” Dean looked away from his brother, guilt burning in his chest. “She’s stuck as an omega again because you couldn’t handle yourself!”

“She was always supposed to _be_ an omega!”

“If she’d stayed omega, she would have died a very long time ago!”

“Well, then it’s a good thing Chuck made her a beta for the last two years, but she’s supposed to be a damn omega and she’s supposed to be ours!” Dean sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. “Shit. I’m...I’m still all full of testosterone and shit. This is my fault and I hate how this...hate how this went.” Sam started to walk out of the dungeon and Dean grabbed his arm. “Where’d she go?” he asked, softly.

“She’s staying in town. It’s not like she can go real far,” Sam snapped, before pulling his arm away and heading for the library. Rowena was sitting in one of the chairs, sipping at a cup of tea. “Thank you.”

“You owe me, Samuel,” she said, setting the cup on a small saucer and pointing a perfectly-manicured finger at him. “And you owe that girl. More’an yew could possibly imagine. She’s given up quite a lot fer you boys an’ if I get even an _inkling_ of her bein’ treated without the respect she’s due fore it, I’ll come fer yew both.” Sam just nodded. Rowena stood and looked up at him, raising a sculpted eyebrow. “She’s a treasure. She’s _yer_ treasure.”

“She is. She always has been. To me, anyway.”

Rowena gave him an appraising look, then nodded. “I gave her my number before she left. I’ll be keepin’ in touch with her.” She grabbed her clutch purse and headed for the spiral staircase out of the bunker. For some reason, Sam felt comfort in the fact that the witch was looking out for his omega.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam smiled at the little old woman behind the desk. "I'm looking for Jill Burrel. She told me she'd be getting a room here.”

“What’s your name?” she asked, picking up the desk phone.

“Uh, Sam.”

“Yeah, this is Wanda at the front desk," she said into the phone. "I have a Sam here. You want me to send him up? Yeah, okay." Wanda smiled tightly as she set the phone on its hook. "Room 3, upstairs on the left.”

"Thanks," he said politely, shifting the bag he was carrying from one shoulder to the other and heading up the stairs. He knocked lightly on the door with the three stenciled on it and stepped back, not wanting to crowd her. He could smell her inside her room and he took a deep breath through his mouth to stabilize himself before he sighed it out as the doorknob twisted. “Hey,” he greeted when she appeared in the doorway.

“Hey, Sam,” she said, quietly. 

He offered her the duffel bag, setting it at her feet when she didn’t take it from him. “I brought you some of your clothes, um, from Seattle and from the bunker, whichever you feel more comfortable wearing. I, uh, I also got your laptop out of the evidence lockup at the Seattle PD. It was pretty trashed, but the hard drive was good, so I put it in another computer and it booted up. If it gives you trouble, I can work on it some more, but you should be able to get to your pictures and stuff...the important things.”

She gave him a grateful smile as she bent down to pick it up. “Thank you. That was...you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know.” He nodded and tucked his hair behind his ears, stepping backward. “Well, I’ll leave you alone, I just wanted-”

“Is he okay?” she asked as Sam approached the top step.

He turned his head to look back at her. “Yeah. He’s fine.”

“Are _you_?” she whispered, looking down.

Sam turned and stepped closer to her. “Feel like you’re the one who went through the traumatic experience. Are _you_ okay?”

“I’m not the one who spent the last two years dealing with a broken mating bond.”

Sam sighed. “You don’t have to feel bad about that, Y/n. You were going to die. I was losing you either way.” She nodded sadly and Sam felt an urge to comfort her. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for us, Y/n. You’re...you’re too good for us.”

“Stuck with you now though,” she said, and he could tell it was an attempt at a joke. 

“Yeah. Fortunately for us.” He licked his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek for a minute before taking a deep breath. “Do you wanna have lunch with me?”

“Lunch?” she asked, looking up into his kaleidoscope eyes.

“Yeah, just you and me. Moe’s Diner?”

“With the hand-battered onion rings?” she asked, remembering their many trips to that diner when she lived at the bunker.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, and they’re doing the malted milkshakes again.”

Y/n smiled. “Okay. Let’s...lunch. I’ll just put this in the room...and get changed. Be right back.”

Sam took another deep breath and sighed it out. A lunch date. They’d jumped straight from her being his brother’s omega to him knotting her. They never had a date. He hadn’t been on a _date_ in years. He was a little nervous, even though she was already his. 

When she opened the door, she was wearing one of the stylish designer dresses he grabbed from her home in Seattle. He’d actually grabbed as much of her stuff as he could fit in the back of the pickup truck and stored it all in an empty room at the bunker, but he wasn’t ready to tell her he’d retrieved so much of her other life. 

“You look great.”

“Thanks. There’s a real nice consignment shop in Seattle. Got half of my stuff there. I couldn’t see buying ‘em full price,” she said, clicking the door shut behind them. Sam led her down the stairs to the car, opening the passenger door for her and ran around to the driver’s side. They were about five minutes into the drive when she sighed happily. “I missed this.”

“What?” Sam asked, looking over at her.

“This. The loud car, the smell of your scent and the leather, the vibration of the engine. I just missed it.” He just smiled in response.

Y/n smiled at the way Sam opened the doors for her, pulled out her chair for her, deferred to her to let her order first when the server approached. “You’re so polite. I almost forgot about that.”

Sam scoffed. “When I wanna be, yeah, but...come on, we both know I’m not _always_ polite,” he said, smirking.

Her face heated up and she looked down at her lap. “Yeah, I know.” She chuckled and looked up to catch his eyes. “Didn’t forget that...how charming you are.”

“Dean says I’m awkward.”

“Dean also says there haven’t been any good rock bands since the 70s, and that’s glam rock and grunge erasure and I don’t stand for it,” she said, smiling bright. “Dean’s wrong sometimes.”

He nodded and licked his lips. “Yeah. But he’s right sometimes, too. He picked _you_.”

“Biology picked me,” she disputed, picking up her drink and taking a sip. “Did you happen to grab any of my books? I didn’t see any in the bag, but-”

“Uh, yeah, a few. They’re back at the bunker,” he admitted. He grabbed every book that was obviously bought for her enjoyment...a mountain of sci-fi and fantasy, a box of comic books and graphic novels. “I didn’t want to dump all the stuff I grabbed on you. Is there a specific one you’re looking for?”

“My Douglas Adams books. Hitchhiker’s Guide special edition, leather-bound.”

Sam nodded. “I got that one.”

“Oh, good. Can you bring that next time?”

He smiled. “Next time?”

“Yeah. I mean, unless you’re not planning to take me on another date sometime,” she said as the server came up with their food.

“Of course...I’d love to. I just wasn’t sure if _you_ wanted me to plan to take you on another date sometime.” He grimaced at his wording and shook his head. “Dean’s right, I’m awkward.” 

“You’re adorable, Sam,” she said as his phone went off.

Sam pulled his cell out of his pocket and smiled tightly as he saw a message from Dean. ‘ **She looks wrong in those clothes doesnt look right in a diner booth** ’. Sam looked around the diner, but didn’t see his brother. He rolled his eyes and tapped out a short response before slipping his phone back into his pocket. "So, there was a 'Help Wanted' sign at the bookstore down the street. I think we could scrounge up a social and a fake name for you. That way you could have your own life and stuff."

She smiled as she took a bite of her salad. “I like that but...If I need permission from my alpha…”

“I’ll give it...after you give the owner an earful about his archaic practices,” Sam said, offering her the plate of onion rings. She bit her bottom lip as she took one off the plate and took a bite. “As good as you remember?”

“Better.” She moaned and nibbled at the breading. “I’ve been eating... _healthy_ food. Mal was all about ‘Healthy body, healthy mind’, between that and...the things I had to avoid to avoid bad memories...I haven’t had an onion ring in years.” She finished the onion and sighed. “I think you would have liked him. He was a pint-sized, beta, Armani-wearing version of you...he was a good guy.”

Sam looked down at his own salad and bit the inside of his lip. “I’m sorry. I should have kept better tabs on Dean. I should-”

“It’s not your fault,” she said, reaching out and taking his hand. “He’s not your responsibility. It’s on him.”

“Not my responsibility? We’ve always been each other’s responsibility." Sam looked at his hand in hers and twisted them to slip his fingers between hers. "He'll make it up to you. He's gonna try."

"Can we not talk about him right now?” She shook her head. “I’d rather just focus on being here with us.”

Sam nodded. “I’m happy to be here with you,” he said with a soft smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Y/n walked up the stairs to room 3. She turned at the door and looked up at him. “I had a fun time at lunch,” she admitted, fiddling with the fabric of her dress. “It was nice.”

“Yeah. It was,” he agreed. “I’ll, uh, I’ll come see you in a few days.” He didn’t want to push too far, too fast. Give her some time between interactions. Let her have her space.

“I’ll get a burner and send you the number in an email...since you fixed my computer for me.” She smiled gratefully. “Really, that was such an awesome thing for you to do for me.”

“It was no big deal. I wanted you to have some of your...the life you’ve gotten used to.”

“You’re very sweet, Sam. Thank you for making this easier.” She went to her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck and pulling him down a bit. Her cheeks were warm when she pulled away. “Uh...a-anyway...I’ll email you.”

Sam’s cheeks were pink as he tucked his hair behind his ears and nodded at her. “I’ll be waiting. Bye, Y/n.” He smiled as he walked down the stairs. That was pretty good as far as first dates with your truemate go. He was almost skipping as he walked out of the inn, heading for the Impala. Sam rolled his eyes when he saw Dean sitting behind the wheel. “Shoulda locked the car,” he muttered to himself before opening the passenger door and sitting down. “I told you to go home, Dean.”

“Don’t leave my car unlocked, man,” Dean grumbled, putting his hand out for the keys.

Sam handed the keys over and glared at Dean as he turned the engine over. “Why were you following us? Don’t follow us, dude. It’s not okay.”

The older alpha’s jaw twitched as he pulled away from the inn, driving toward the bunker. “Just can’t lose ‘er again,” he mumbled, not looking at his brother. 

Sam sighed and looked away. He understood what Dean was feeling but he didn’t really feel like Dean deserved to be feeling it. “She’s not going anywhere.”


	9. Moving Forward

**Summary** : Y/n is moving forward with her life, with Sam’s help.

**Story Warnings:** A/B/O dynamics, angst, past kidnapping, Dean having no clue how to fix shit, some awkwardness, some sweetness and making out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam smiled as Y/n opened her door. “Brought some of your books,” he said, offering a bag.

“Thank you!” she exclaimed, taking the bag from him. “Hitchhiker’s Guide?”

“Yeah,” he answered with a nod.

“Awesome,” she said, looking back at her room. “You, uh, wanna come in?”

“If you want me to, yeah,” he said, nodding again. She stepped out of the way and he stepped inside. She’d made the space her own, putting up a few printed pictures of her with friends back home, one with Malcolm, and one with him that he could tell Dean had been cropped out of. “Well, it’s not quite home but it’s cozy.”

“Thanks.” She moved to sit on the bed and gestured at the single armchair in the corner. “I’ve been looking at apartments, though. This is nice and all, but...I’d like a place of my own again. I had my townhouse in Seattle, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know. You could really see your personality in that house. I’m sorry you had to say goodbye to it.”

She just shrugged. “I’m starting over again. Not the first time.”

Sam wanted her to come back to the bunker. He wanted her to come home...but he knew she wasn’t ready. After what Dean did, he wasn’t sure she would ever be ready to come back...and he would respect that. “There’s a couple small duplexes over by the hardware store. I think one of ‘em is for rent.”

She smiled. “Thanks for telling me. I’ll go look at it in a little while.” Sam smiled back at her. “Did you want to come with me?”

“Yeah! Honestly, any excuse to be around you, Y/n, I’ll take it.”

She laughed. “Is that why you’re piecemealing my belongings, Sam? If you don’t bring it all, you have a reason to come see me again?”

Sam chuckled and rubbed at the back of his neck. “You figured me out.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad to be around you too, Sam.” She reached forward and patted his knee. “And it’s better to keep the stuff at the bunker until I have a place to put it all. But you and that pickup truck are helping me move once I get a place.”

Sam covered her hand with his. “I’d love to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n held Sam to that a week later when she signed a lease under the Jill Burrel fake name and claimed a small farmhouse as her own. Sam met her at the house with everything he grabbed from Seattle, as well as one of the Men of Letters’ bedroom sets, a brand new memory foam mattress and an IKEA bookshelf he ordered online.

“What is all this?” she asked as he dropped the tailgate.

“Well, I didn’t grab any of the furniture from your townhouse and I know you don’t have any, so I thought you might want something to sleep on...something to put all these books on.”

She smiled as he walked away toward her front porch with a box of books. “Thank you! I was gonna have you take me to the Goodwill in Hastings to get some cheap furniture and appliances. Now, I won’t need bedroom stuff.”

“We’ll go shop after I put that shelf together,” Sam called out as he dropped the box by the fireplace and looked around. It was fairly modern despite the older exterior, with an open concept between the kitchen, dining area, and living room. The fixtures were brass, the backsplash in the kitchen matching well with the dark stone of the fireplace. “Wow. This is...how’d you afford this place?”

“I saved a lot when I was Aubrielle...in a secret account...and Jill Burrel has really good credit thanks to Charlie. Oh, and I got the job at the bookstore!” She bit her lip and looked down bashfully. “That didn’t help me get this house but it means I won’t have to constantly dip into the savings to live. It’s a good thing.”

“That’s a _great_ thing, Y/n! I’m so happy for you!”

“It’s not like I’ve never had a job before, Sam.”

“No, I know you have but...it’s just a really good thing. Uh, is this the bedroom?” Sam asked, pointing at the door to the left of the entrance.

“That’s the bathroom, actually. Bedroom is this one,” she said, pushing open the door across the hall from the bathroom.

“It’s huge!” Sam exclaimed as he stepped inside. “You’re gonna need more furniture than just what I brought.”

“What you brought is more than enough for now. A bed, a mattress, side table, dresser, and shelf? More than enough,” she reiterated.

“Well, you’ll need more...and a TV.”

“Like I said...Goodwill. Come on. Let’s go move stuff in here,” she said before bouncing out of the room. Sam tucked his hair behind his ears and followed her, smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the sun set on Lebanon, Sam and Y/n had furnished her home with the basics and were trying to put together the IKEA shelf while they waited for the pizza they ordered for dinner to show up. 

“I went to college! This shouldn’t be so hard!” Sam exclaimed and Y/n laughed.

“You don’t need a college degree to put together a LOMMARP. Just calm down and look at the parts.”

“Dean is so much better at this crap,” Sam muttered.

“Yeah, but Dean isn’t allowed in my house after what he did to my _last_ one,” she reminded.

“I know. Sorry. We’ll figure this out.”

Y/n put her hand on his shoulder and yanked the instructions away, tossing them on the white wood table they found at the shop. “Take a break,” she demanded.

Sam looked up at her, the corner of his mouth turning up. “What?” he asked in reference to the amused look on her face.

“It’s just a bit sitcom, ya know? The super-smart guy who can’t figure out a DIY shelf but he can save the world. Screw the shelf, Sam. I’ll figure it out later.”

“Are you sure?” he asked and she nodded.

“Books are in a box, they can stay there until I have a spot. Stop worrying about ‘part A in slot 2’ and just relax. I have a couch now.” She put her hand out and he let her pull him up from his spot on the floor and pull him toward the couch.

“This is a nice couch,” Sam said as she cuddled up next to him.

“Yeah. Some awesome guy helped me pick it out,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“You picked it. I just loaded it.”

Y/n hummed happily and set her hand on his thigh. “You’ve been so helpful, Sam. Thank you.”

“I want to make things good for you, ‘mega,” he said quietly and she whimpered softly at the title. “You don’t like bein’ one but you like being called ‘omega’ still, don’t you?”

She pulled away and looked down at her fingernails. “Ya know...you _know_ I hated being an omega. It felt like presenting, especially presenting so late, ruined my life...until you and Dean walked into my trivia night.” She sniffled slightly and looked up into his eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how everything would’ve been different if you were the one who drove me home.”

“You’d have been marked that night,” he answered honestly. “And you’d only have one mark. I wouldn’t have been able to share.”

“You’ve thought about it too, I see.” She bit her bottom lip and nodded. “I would never have gotten sick, never would have left. Never would have been a beta again.” She swallowed and reached out to take Sam’s hand. “I never would have _wanted_ to be a beta again, Sam, because being _your_ omega was the happiest time of my life. Nothing in beta life comes close to the intimacy I shared with you.”

“‘Share’,” he corrected, twisting the grip so that he was holding her hand. “We share it now, Y/n.”

“I know,” she whispered, her focus taken by Sam’s fingertips pressing into the pulse point on her wrist. “Sam...thank you.”

She leaned forward and up, pressing her lips to his as her free hand buried in his hair, twisting slightly in the long locks. He groaned into her mouth and pulled her forward, grabbing her by her hips and guiding her into his lap. The feelings and pheromones overwhelmed them as their tongues started pressing against each other, hands tracing paths over each other’s bodies above their clothes. They were both desperate to touch, but neither wanted to be the one to push the makeout session over the edge into something bigger.

Y/n squeaked and pulled away when her doorbell rang. Her lips were a bit swollen but at least her hair wasn’t a complete mess like Sam’s. “Pizza. I’ll, uh, be right…” She cleared her throat as she got off of Sam’s lap. “Be right back.”

Sam let out a sigh as she disappeared down the hall to the front door. He pressed his palms into his thighs and stood, moving to her new dining table. She smiled as she walked in with the pizza box and set it on the table.

“Bon appetit,” she said, sitting beside him and opening the pizza box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam dropped his keys on the Map Table and headed for his laptop on the first table in the library.

“She all right?” Dean asked as he walked in with an empty crystal tumbler.

“Dean, I don’t-”

“I stopped following, stopped being a ‘stalker’.” The older alpha threw up air quotes. “All I wanna know is if my omega is okay. Gimme that much, dude.”

“ _Our_ omega. She’s our omega and she’s fine, Dean. She’s settling into her new place just fine and as soon as I figure out how to put together the damn LOMMARP, she’ll have everything sorted,” Sam said, pulling open his laptop. “Gotta be a video of someone doing this on YouTube.”

Dean ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek before nodding. He filled his glass with liquor from the decanter before shuffling out of the library.

Sam sighed and ran his hand across his mouth. Dean was hurting over the situations, that was obvious. His older brother had changed since he met Y/n in that bar but under it was still the alpha that picked her and put her on a pedestal. Sam might have been enjoying having Y/n to himself for the first time, but eventually he was going to have to find a way for Y/n to forgive Dean.

He shook his head and turned his attention back to his laptop, looking through to find a video to help him put the shelf together.

It took him forever to find a video and even longer to figure out what was being said in the video, but he thought he might have figured out why it wasn’t working the way he wanted.

Sam stopped in his tracks when he stepped into the garage. The LOMMARP was put together, sitting in the bed of the truck. There was a note taped to the side and Sam had to walk over to read it.

‘ **Tell her it was you** ’

Sam sighed and pulled the note down. “Thank you, Dean.”


End file.
